I may not post for a few days. I'm dealing with some stuff right now that's making it hard for me to post anything. I will try, of course, but I wrote four different posts today, but I couldn't finish any of them. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy your weekend!
Sorry guys. I wrote a post, but since it was just more of the same melodramatic ramblings as I posted on Friday night, I decided to take it down. My husband is on a mission to distract me, so I’m not going to hurt myself or anything, so don’t worry.
So I’m freaking out a little about the post I made about an hour ago in which I came out of the metaphorical closet as being bisexual. I have one view on it and one visit, but no likes or comments. Did I just break my blog?
My social anxiety is through the roof right now, telling me that everyone thinks I’m faking this for attention, or that I have no right to claim to be bisexual since I am married to a man. In my head the whole internet is up in arms against what I wrote because it’s offensive for me to say those things on my blog.
My brain is also telling me that my post yesterday was too much too. Obviously what ever people liked me before have abandoned me now that all my writing is about me as a person and not just the disorders I have.
I know all of this is illogical. One view means only one person looked at it, not the whole internet. Plus it’s not a peak hour for my viewership. So people who might read it and like what I said simply haven’t gotten to it yet.
Still, I’m fighting the urge to pull it down and set my phone on fire so I don’t have to deal with what I’ve done. So, I’m gonna go on the walk I promised my husband I’d take, and give my brain something different to worry about.
I am shaking like a leaf right now going back and forth in my mind about whether or not I can live with the consequences of publishing the post that I wrote for today, and I haven’t even been on my walk yet. I think I might turn it into a run, so I can get through it faster, or maybe I can convince my sister to come with me. She’s braver than I am.
Anyway, if I do post it, I’m sure you will all understand why I am so terrified, but if I don’t, then I promise to make a post tomorrow that’s something worth reading.
My husband and I decided not to do the movie tonight, partly because we decided my terrifying walk was enough social stress for today, and partly because he is quitting his fast food addiction and isn’t sure he could handle going out. So we will be starting that one next week. (Thank you God!)
Sorry you guys, I don’t seem to have much luck in writing posts on the weekends, do I? I’ll try and do better next week.
Today is a great day! Inside of Jen’s Head has now had 100 visits, and 20 followers on WordPress! Yay! Also this is my 20th post so my OCD is loving this, lol.
I just wanted to take a moment to enjoy this, and let you all know how much I appreciate you for reading my blog. It is a fantastic feeling pulling up my notifications and stats and seeing that I have connected with so many people, in so many places, and that at least some of what I am writing resonates with you.
Thank you all so much!