Just so you know…

I may not post for a few days. I'm dealing with some stuff right now that's making it hard for me to post anything. I will try, of course, but I wrote four different posts today, but I couldn't finish any of them. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy your weekend!

Posted in Neither Here nor There

Liebster Awards

Recently, AnxiousWriter, from the blog Warrior, not Worrier, nominated me for the Liebster Award. I'm really touched that you thought of me. Thank you!

So what is a Liebster Award? Well it's a way for new bloggers to help promote each other, and gain more followers. You accept by answering the eleven questions that your nominator asked you, and then you select eleven nominees and ask them eleven questions. Of course you want to be sure to thank the person who nominated you, and link back to their blog, and also notify your nominees, and include links to their blogs as well. I love this idea, it's so friendly and fun!

Well, without further ado, here are the questions that AnxiousWriter had for me:

What's your favorite book/movie and why?

I'll answer both. My favorite book, if I have to choose just one, is probably Magic Kingdom For Sale, Sold! by Terry Brooks. The reason I'd choose that one is because in it the main character is struggling with an enormous amount of depression in the wake of the death of a loved one, and beneath the fantasy, it's really a story about accepting that loss and moving on. My favorite movie has to be Inception, because the premise of being able to not only enter another person's dreams, but also steal their secrets is so crazy cool and creepy at the same time. The effects in that movie are just so wonderfully incredible, as well, making it both psychologically and visually stimulating. I highly recommend it.

Why do you blog?

This is a difficult question to answer, as there are many superficial reasons, such as validation, attention, and showcasing my writing, art, and photography skills. I think if we get down to brass tacks here though, I write this blog to try and do my part to make the world a better more understanding place. If I can write down how I'm feeling inside in a way that is clear and understandable, show you all the dark thoughts that travel through my mind, analyze the things I do and feel, and provide research materials on the many topics I cover, maybe we will all be able to better understand the people in our lives who have had similar experiences, or who have the same conditions I do. Maybe psychologists and psychiatrists can read my blog and gain insight into the way we treat these disorders and develop better strategies to deal with them. That's my hope.

What's your favorite memory?

My favorite memory… hmm… I have a lot of good memories, but possibly my favorite is lying on my back in my tree house, watching the clouds roll by through the branches. Nothing of significance happened, I wasn't reading a good book, or listening to music. I wasn't singing or writing or drawing. I was just laying there existing, completely at peace with the world.

What are your hobbies?

I have a lot of hobbies. In addition to writing, art, photography, and music, I also crochet, scrap book, do the tiniest amount of wood working, and I make jewelry. I also love math, which I know is weird, but what can I say, other than I'm a strange and unique person.

What's the goofiest/craziest thing you've ever done with a friend?

I've done a ton of crazy things with my friends over the years, from skinny dipping in a hot tub, to a mobile game of truth or dare that got us in trouble with the cops, and our parents. I've done a lot of goofy, fun things to, like the time my husband and I spent the day at the movie theater, going directly from one movie to the next. I think we watched four or five in a row, and it was a magical day. I think the goofiest thing I've ever done with a friend, however, has to be in first grade when my friend and I climbed the pine tree in her front yard and shouted all the curse words we knew at the passing cars. It was silly, stupid fun, and it holds a special place in my heart.

What's your favorite thing about yourself? Least favorite?

My favorite thing about myself is my creativity. I'm always making something, whether it's a picture, or a song, or even just a crochet hot pad. My least favorite? My negativity. It's always dragging me down and making me doubt my abilities. No matter what positive things people say about me, I am always telling myself they are wrong and I'm a talentless hack.

Are you an introvert or extrovert?

I'd like to say that I am an extrovert with introversive tendencies. I love to talk, and I have no problem sharing my life story with strangers, as long as they make the first move. My social anxiety makes it hard to do extroverted things, and it makes me seem very introverted, but I think once I get through it I'll be the extroverted, flamboyant, bouncy person I know I am on the inside.

What do you regret in life?

I try really hard to live without regret, but I still have my fair share. Mostly I regret not taking advantage of more of the opportunities I've had to socialize with my friends and family. I also really regret quitting my past jobs without notice. That's not the polite thing to do, and it's really unfair, not just to the managers of those places, but to the other employees as well. I really regret not working harder to be more reliable, and responsible, when leaving those jobs.

What accomplishment of yours are you the most proud of?

I would have to say that this blog is my biggest accomplishment. I'm so proud of the fact that I've been able to keep it up, posting (almost) every day for over a month now, even if the only things I have to say are negative or gloomy. It has also in turn, prompted me to accomplish other things. I have finished more of my artwork since I started blogging than I have the whole rest of my life, and I've actually started writing the music down to the songs I come up with, instead of just the lyrics, not to mention the improvements that I've made in my mental health. Recent suicidal behavior aside, I've been doing a lot better recently and I have this blog, and all of you, my wonderful readers, to thank for it.

What's your goal in life?

I have many goals in life, but the biggest and most important to me is to be a published author. I really want to see my name on the bestseller list, and when I'm not being so down on myself, I really think I can make it some day.

Do you have a message you want to tell the world? If yes, what is it?

Yes, I do. If I could tell you just one thing and have it stick with you through your darkest hour and on your brightest day it would be this: Accept yourself for who you are, warts and all. Fix what problems you can fix, of course, but learn to love yourself for who you are. Don't judge each other, because you can never know what trials they came through to become who they are, but above all don't judge yourself. The world needs you to be you. The people you love need you to love yourself. Don't let your setbacks destroy you, use them to become a better, stronger, more accepting and loving person, and the rewards will be beyond your wildest dreams.

Now, on to my nominees! You all have amazing blogs, and you have each touched my life in profound ways. Thank you all for the advice and experiences you've shared on your blogs, and for the encouraging comments you've left on mine. I hope this nomination can repay the kindness you've shown to me, in some small way.

Lavender and Levity

…and a Denim Jacket

A Bipolar Life

Migraines From Hell

Unconventional Norms

Jacob Writes On

Lakmi's Blog

Randa Roo Rants

Working Title

Anne's Bread Blog

Eye of the Pendragon

My questions for you fantastic people are as follows:

  1. What is your go to activity to relieve stress?
  2. What color best describes your personality and why?
  3. What is you favorite song/band?
  4. What is your least favorite food?
  5. If you could be any animal in the world (including those that are already extinct) what would you choose to be?
  6. If you had three wishes, what would they be?
  7. What is your worst fear?
  8. What is your happiest memory?
  9. What do you love most about yourself?
  10. What is your favorite thing about blogging?
  11. If you had the undivided attention of the entire world what would you say?

As for the rest of you readers and followers, I'd nominate you all if I could. You guys have all been so great. You've really made me feel at home here. Thank you for reading, liking and commenting. I love you guys, you are all wonderful!

Posted in Neither Here nor There

First they came for…

Lavender and Levity

Leaving aside everything else that is wrong and immoral about this proposed ban, at the moment there are something like 11,000 trans people currently serving openly in the US services and reserves. They are there legally, and it is currently their right to serve openly. Trump’s ban, at first glance, appears to take awaytheir…

via A Note on Trump’s Proposed Ban of Transgender in the Military — Whatever

I have no words for a country that wants to take rights away from people, instead of arcing towards justice.

I could say something about how a big part of why I have PTSD can be traced right back to the belief that some people are less ‘people’ than others. I couldcitemore sources about where that dangerous lie leads in the end. I could just insert a middle finger emoji. However, I am not a professional writer. So, instead I’ll…

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Posted in Neither Here nor There

I Am Also A We + Politics

Jacob Writes On

In my last post, I discovered my use of scientific-profiled formatting when writing something as simple as a blog post. My promise is to fill this blog post in no such a format and replace it with a more personal touch. What will flow is a telescope into my personal shame for the current state of the United States of America: Land of the Free, Home of the Brave.

But are we free? Are we brave…enough?

When I turn on the news every day, feelings of rage, shame, discontent, and a certain fear creep further into my skin. In recent days, it’s as though it is seeping slowly, intravenously, every drop reaching the surface of my bones. And I feel this kind of fear and shame equally because it is a stark contrast to my past and present alike. It’s a contrast that on one side is felt by less…

View original post 738 more words